Art by DestinyBlue I had always intended to write a post about depression. I continually put it off because it isn't really something I like to talk about. I'm thankful that it is more out in the open, that people are talking about it, bringing this disease into the light, because for all the years I have been battling it, it was something to keep hidden because to everyone not affected by it, it's not a real thing. It's something in my head, not a real disease. When you grow up this way, you learn to keep quiet, to fight your battles silently, to smile at the whole world on the outside while inside you're screaming and wishing for an end. Today I read a post on Facebook. I was going to just leave it be, but afterwards I went into the garden, and as I was working away, what I had seen started eating away at me. It occurred to me that although the guy in the video thinks he's helping, and maybe even people who are sharing the video think they're helping, it's actually belittling the disease. It is a classic "just get over it" mentality, which has long plagued depression and kept it in the shadows. So as I stewed I realized that this is almost a case of 'one step forward, two steps back', here we are, dragging depression, and mental illnesses of all kinds, into the light, trying to help those affected, and someone pops up giving some terrible advice to drag us all back to the stone ages. Telling someone with depression to just wait until it passes is essentially treating acne by bloodletting, which they actually did in the seventeenth century. See the video here. The comment is what actually set me off. Because he's actually saying that you need to get over it. That, ladies and gents, is the two steps back I referred to earlier. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. However, there is a difference between opinion and basically giving medical advice. In your opinion, I am sad, so I should just wait for it to pass. In reality, I have a medically diagnosed illness that requires medication, and actually will not 'pass' if I just wait long enough (trust me, I have tried). The 'depression' that he is talking about in his video is not the real thing. Everyone gets sad sometimes, and he is right, that will pass. Even heavy sadness following the loss of a loved one or the end of a relationship is extreme and weighs you down, but it is a temporary feeling, and you will eventually get past it. I do think the analogies he uses in the video are actually correct - just not in the way he intends. Yes, the sky (you) is always there and the clouds (depression) come and go, but if you look around, you'll probably see more clouds, even if the patch of sky right above you at the moment is clear. Sometimes they're even angrier than the ones that just passed. And that is depression. Real, clinical depression. Look up at the sky. More often than not there are clouds. The patches of clear sky are much fewer. So it is with depression. You have clear days. You have days when you can function as a regular human being. You can get up in the morning and have a full day of just being a person. Not exhausted, not sick, and it's glorious. Then the clouds come back. And they always do. Second analogy, same thing. The remote control is in the picture, then it's not, then it is. Again, it comes back. Only this time he's proving my point even more: He never lets go of the remote. He's holding it the whole time. Depression is like that. It's always there, even when its not, except that it holds you, not the other way around. Art by 113-nk So let's take a look at depression, what causes it? I want to talk about it in the clinic sense, not my fiancee just left me at the altar and I'm going to eat ice cream until my tears are done. Medical science is not exactly sure what causes depression, their best guesses are that many factors are at play, environmental, psychological, and biological. For the sake of this post, I only want to focus on the biological factors. In other words, I want to tell you what goes on inside your brain that can cause depression. Why? Because I want to show you that those same things going on in my brain that are causing the depression that you may not see as a real disease are actual, real things that I can't just wait until they pass. One of the biological factors that lead to depression is low serotonin levels. Serotonin is a chemical in your body which carries signals along and between your nerves. It's a neurotransmitter which is mainly found in the brain, bowel, and blood platelets. Symptoms of low serotonin levels can include: from: bebrainfit.com Having low serotonin levels doesn't necessarily mean you automatically have depression. In fact, it could actually be worse. Other illnesses and conditions associated with low levels include: fibromyalgia, TMJ (temporomandibular joint disorder), migraines, irritable bowel syndrome, obesity, and asthma. Let's not forget OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder), anxiety, and addiction issues. Lowered levels also increase your risk for heart disease, dementia, and Alzheimer's. Art by Vesuvia The second and third biological factors are also associated with neurotransmitters: Norepinephrine and Dopamine. Norepinephrine is "what most of us think of as the “fight-or-flight” hormones. It functions as a hormone and neurotransmitter and is produced by the adrenal gland, postganglionic neurons of the sympathetic nervous system, and part of the brain called the locus coerules. From the locus coerules, noradrenergic neurons branch out and form a system that enables norepinephrine to be delivered to different parts of the brain. In a similar fashion, the postganglionic neurons enable norepinephrine to be delivered directly to target organs and cells in the body. The adrenal glands dump norepinephrine directly into the blood. These mechanisms usually come into play when we are under stress." (from breakingmuscle.com) - I tried to understand it so I could paraphrase for you, but each subsequent definition I read got more and more technical, so I opted to copy and paste instead of giving you incorrect information. Lowered levels of Norepinephrine are associated with: From: drkaslow.com Most of us have heard of Dopamine, its a neurotransmitter released by the brain and has a hand in movement, memory, behavior and cognition, sleep, mood, and learning. Conditions associated with low levels include: chronic fatigue, RLS (restless leg syndrome), excessive sleep, lessened libido, ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder), and Parkinson’s disease. There's a lot of great info to be found at medlicker.com. So basically, symptoms of neurotransmitter imbalances or neurotransmitter deficiency include: From: holistichelp.net Do you still want to tell me that my depression is just a phase, or that I should get over it, or just wait for it to pass? I have been battling it for as long as I can remember, since my early teens. And make no mistake, it is a battle. It's a battle to get up in the morning, to get washed up and leave the house. To go to work, take care of your children, put on a happy face and deal with the world. All while you're screaming and crying and dying inside. Battling the side effects of the medications, trying to figure out if they're actually worse than the disease. It's a battle not to let it take you. It's a battle to try to remember who you were before you were sad all the time. To not burst into tears for no reason at all, because if you start it won't stop. Battling that tightness in your chest when you have to go anywhere - even just outside your bedroom door. Art by VGgirl607 I don't talk about it. When I do, I get the eye roll from people who know me. They don't understand that those of us coping with this are phenomenal actors. You don't know there's anything wrong with us unless we tell you - or try to kill ourselves. To you we're just lazy, tired, anti-social. According to my family and friends I'm in perfect mental health, because that's what I let them see. And this is why people like Prince Ea and those who share his video with notes like "someone has to say it" are actually doing more harm than good. Maybe you thought you were being helpful, trying to tell someone they can lift themselves out of their fog. Your intentions are good, but dangerous. I wouldn't tell a person with cancer to just hang on until it passes, so don't tell me the same. And let's be very clear - depression does kill. From: cmha.ca Art by emprinsesa
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Art by Eredel "The man in black fled across the desert, and the gunslinger followed." - Stephen King, The Dark Tower Book One: The Gunslinger, 1982 If you haven't read Stephen King's magnum opus, The Dark Tower, you need to put down what you're doing, set aside a week or two, and read it. It's that good. It doesn't even matter whether you're a Stephen King fan or not, this superbly written tale transcends worlds and time, seamlessly blending sci-fi, fantasy, horror, and western genres, and tells a moving tale of love and friendship, terrible loss, and the ultimate quest. The story spans 8 books (and a short story), with the first installment, The Gunslinger, published in 1982. Book Two, The Drawing of the Three was released in 1987. Book Three, The Wastelands in 1991, with the fourth, Wizard and Glass following in 1997. In 2003 we received Book Five, Wolves of the Calla, and in 2004 we were blessed with 2 offerings, Books Six and Seven, Song of Susannah and The Dark Tower, respectively. In 2012 we saw the release of The Wind Through the Keyhole. {The story, it seems, was not done with Mr. King - there were still tales to tell.} TWTTK is the eighth book to be released, but it falls somewhere in between WAG (#4) and WOTC (#5), kind of like a 4.5, as it tells tales of a younger Roland Deschain. I will also mention The Little Sisters of Eluria, which is a short story found in Everything's Eventual. It is kind of a 0.5, although I recommend that TLSOE (#0.5) and TWTTK (4.5) are read after you have completed the 'first' seven books, as they are really just side stories, a little extra gravy on your poutine. There are also the comics, or graphic novels, which tell the tales of Roland's first Ka-Tet. Any actual synopsis of the story will never do it justice, there are just too many subtle nuances intertwined with backstories, love stories, courage, friendship, battle stories, and characters that are so vibrant and rich you believe they actually exist. I will tell you just the basic story, sort of a Cole's Notes of a Cole's Notes. Stripped down to it's bare bones, Stephen King tells a story about a gunslinger on an epic quest through Mid-World. According to the master himself, it's Lord of the Rings meets King Arthur meets Clint Eastwood. I have read this series in full about six or seven times now. All this talk about the movie is making me want to start it again, it's that good. Every time I read it I feel new feelings about different situations, like reading the books with a fresh pair of eyes. Ever since we got a little tease in The Mist, a 2007 movie where the protagonist, David, who paints movie posters for a living is seen painting a Dark Tower poster, myself and countless other DT fans have been holding our breath waiting for the announcement that Roland and his Ka-Tet will make it to the big screen. When the announcement finally arrived, I was shattered. Ron Howard had signed on to direct. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed Lady in the Lake, The Missing, and Apollo 13, among others not adapted for the big screen from novels. However, Mr. Howard takes too many liberties and butchers other people's work. DaVinci Code, anyone? How the authors allow it, I will never understand. I get that they think, "ooh, what would happen if Mr. X went with the blue shirt rather than the yellow", but we bibliophiles love the book for what it is. Streamlining for time constraints is one thing, but completely changing the story flow, characters, and/or ending just because is quite another. From IMDb.com Since then, I have heard that he will co-direct and then that he had to remove himself from the project (YAY!) because he couldn't dedicate enough time to the project to do it justice. Now it seems that he is still tied to the project, just as a producer. I don't care why he's gone, I'm just happy he is. The new director is a guy named Nikolaj Arcel. Never heard of him? Yeah, me either. He has directed five whole movies since 2001, and one of those is a short. I haven't seen nor heard of even one of the movies he is credited with directing. And this is the guy who will be taking on the epic genius of Stephen King's Dark Tower, a series which is supposed to be turned into three movies with the possibility of a "when Roland was young" set on Netflix? I'm not sure how I feel about that. From IMDb.com And now I will tackle the controversy that is causing some stir in the DT community. Casting. I will discuss Idris Elba, who is causing most of the stir, but I have other concerns first. Take a look at the above list of actors who have been cast. I am extremely concerned that I don't see Susannah and Dean on this list yet. Are we doing Movie One only with Jake? Yes, Susannah and Dean don't enter the story until the second book, but the first book is actually the shortest of all (it started it's life as a short story sold to a magazine initially), and most of the roles I see on the list above don't show up in it. While we're on the topic of roles that don't show up until later in the series, let's tackle the character of "Tirana". I actually had to google this, because I have read the series in it's entirety numerous times, and I'll be honest with you, I draw a blank with this one. Apparently I'm not alone. "Tirana is definitely not the female lead in the novels. In fact, she’s so obscure that even hardcore fans don’t seem quite sure who she is — I’ve seen some readers swear up and down that no one named Tirana exists in the books." -slashfilm.com So she's the 'lead' female character in the movie, and no one remembers her. Apparently she shows up in Book Seven. As far as I remember, Susannah Dean/Detta Walker gets the title of Lead. I'm also relatively sure that anyone who has read DT would agree. Oh, and by the way, if Tirana is supposed to be kind of Susannah, but different, congrats Hollywood, you just cast yet another white woman in a clearly black role. Just sayin'. Art by RavenMedia As for the other roles already cast, Pimli & Sayre are from much later in the books, Susan is from a lifetime away (Roland's first love), I'm confused about Arra, another minor character I had to google to remember (and seems to me almost a character within a story within a story), who really doesn't seem that important. Rounding out the questions is which character will Katheryn Winnick play? Judging from the fact that we have Jake, his best friend, and his shrink cast, many are speculating she will play his mother, who is absentee at best in the Jake story, and totally unnecessary in a film adaptation. The first movie seems way too much Jake and the battle of Algul Siento, with a little Mejis and some Low Men thrown in for good measure. I'm not sure that picking these particular elements to introduce the story are a good choice. I guess the time has come to speak about the whole controversy surrounding Idris Elba as the gunslinger himself, Roland Deschain. Please do not take my next comments as racist. I like to think that I am not. Roland is not a black man. Do you know how I and anyone in the DT fanverse know this? Above all else, it is because Detta (split personality within Odetta/Detta/Susannah character) likes to call him a "honky mahfah" more often than not. She is, as I mentioned before, a very important character in the DT series. When we first meet her, she is a horribly racist, emotionally scarred, scary as hell, black woman. She is an amazing character and one of the strongest female black characters I have ever encountered, whether on screen or on the page. Since it looks like they're removing her past (modern-day New York, she's from 1964 New York), are they also removing a crucial part of her storyline? What she went through because of who she is matters, and it made her the powerhouse she is as Susannah. Maybe they'll just make her white? Hey, we can still have the racism thing then, right? As I mentioned previously, there is talk that white actress Abbey Lee is playing the 'lead female' character, although hers has a different name. But I digress. Mr. Elba is an incredibly talented actor. Avengers, Thor, Pacific Rim, and Prometheus, just a few of the movies that jump to mind where he is memorable. And I'll be completely honest with you, I've seen shots from the set and some concept art, and he looks bad-ass as the gunslinger. If you haven't read the books and aren't fanatic about them, he is a fantastic choice. The colour of an actor on page vs on screen actually doesn't really bother me (Morgan Freeman playing a middle-aged Irishman in The Shawshank Redemption quickly comes to mind), if race plays no part in the story. If you cut out the whole Odetta part, I really wouldn't take issue with this casting choice, I would totally embrace it. Thing is (I know I keep going back to this, but it matters), Roland, Dean, and Odetta/Detta must cross this bridge to get to where they're going. There's no real way around it. Unless you are telling a different story. And maybe that is exactly what is happening here. I know, this is such a long post! Can you tell it means so much to me? Honestly, even after writing all of this, I still can't even touch upon how much of an impact these books have had on me. I promise it's almost over, and for those of you who made it this far... thanks for sticking with me. Two things remain to discuss. First I want to talk about Mathew McConaughey as The Man in Black. I will take a thousand black Rolands over this choice. He is not exactly stellar acting material. Yes, yes, we were all (shockingly) really impressed by him in True Detective. But one good role does not automatically make you ready or able to play all roles they way they need to be played. Randall Flagg is no surfer dude and his idea of a good time is not the same as ours. Click his name and check out Matthew's filmography. Prolific, but not exactly the stuff Oscars are made of. On top of my already negative feel towards Mr. McConaughey, I read somewhere that he was going to take a crazy, anything goes type of approach to the role. I immediately pictured him trying to channel Ledger's Joker from beneath the hood. I think I even cried a little as a small part of me died inside. I just feel like each casting announcement they make is one mistake after another, just compounding the issues. I will leave you with my personal picks on who should play the main characters. I'm not getting into Sayre or Tirana or Timmy, because they just don't matter at this point in the game. Most of my picks have been my picks for a really long time, some had to change because those I envisioned had the audacity to get old while I held my breath for this movie. Roland Deschain A.K.A. The Gunslinger
Honorable mention goes to Hugh Jackman. Randall Flagg A.K.A. The Man in Black It is not easy to find a great 'picture' of him, and for good reason, he is every nightmare you're ever had all rolled into one, especially the ones that started out as wonderful dreams.
Jake Chambers
I'm okay with the casting of Tom Taylor as Jake (shocking, I know), he's obviously very close to who I originally envisioned playing this role. I would like to point out that Jaden was really enjoyable to watch in After Earth, so he's my actual pick for this role. Eddie Dean Who? Those not in the DT fandom probably haven't heard this name yet. Either he hasn't been cast, or he's not in this movie. Doesn't matter, he is a pivotal part of Roland's Ka-Tet.
Honorable mention goes to the one and only Keanu Reeves. Susannah Dean A.K.A Odetta/Detta Walker Another character so pivotal to the story who has neither been cast nor mentioned by the people involved in the DT movie. She is absolutely the one and only female lead in this series!
Danai's Michonne character on The Walking Dead has evolved in a way very similar to Susannah's journey - harsh & alone to caring & mother-figure The Director A.K.A. the Guy in Charge Okay, so he's not a character - but he (or she) is so important because he has to be making the correct decisions right from the start. Who's that guy with all the awards? Why, Peter Jackson, my friends! He has always been and always will be my absolute number one and only choice for directing a movie of this scope and magnitude. Period. Whew! That was a long one. I think this is my magnum opus of blog posts - it took me about three days to get this all together.
How about you? Any thoughts on casting? Are you going to see the movie(s), or even better, if you haven't read the books, has my zeal inspired you to do so? All jokes aside, RLS, or Restless Leg Syndrome is actually more prevalent than you may think. True, many articles and reports I have read about the condition mainly say that it is a new made-up disease. I disagree totally, it is not a disease, nor is it made up. I suffer from it, and have for over a decade, and I'm not sure how it started poking it's head into the light of day, but I am thankful that it did. I was able to put a name to this thing that plagues me at least one night a week, and sometimes as many as four or five. If you want to skip through all my explanations and ravings, just head to the bottom of this post (after the drumroll) where I'll tell you what simple fix is calming my restless legs these nights. For those of you lucky enough to not personally know what I'm talking about, or those who don't know what to call that thing that is keeping you up at night, Restless Leg Syndrome (RLS) is defined as "a disorder of the part of the nervous system that causes an urge to move the legs. Because it usually interferes with sleep, it also is considered a sleep disorder" (from webmd.com). It is not painful, just really, really annoying, and the urge can last anywhere from a couple of minutes to all night long. Take it from someone who has experienced the long ones, it is not a fun way to stay up all night. So, are there ways to combat RLS, to treat, cure, or keep it in check? The good news is that there are. The bad news is two-fold. This includes side effects and lifestyle changes, along with a growing number of studies showing that RLS may only be a symptom of a larger medical issue. When we're treating only the RLS, we're not looking at the bigger picture. I would guess its akin to drinking Buckley's to quiet the cough and ignoring the emphysema. Firstly, let's take a look at the first option most people choose: medication. US: "Doctor, my legs feel weird at night and I can't sleep." DR: "Here's a prescription. Check back with me in 3 weeks." Don't even try to pretend that that is not the way most doctor visits sound. So what types of prescription medications are available? That's what came up when I goggled "RLS medications". What came up when I clicked the actual link was even crazier. A two page document listing no less than TWELVE categories of drugs including opioids, hypnotics, and anti-depressants that can be prescribed for RLS. The side effects, as with many new drugs oddly, seem worse than the actual condition we're medicating and they run the gambit from headaches and dizziness to hallucinations and compulsive behaviors. Scary. There are also some natural ways to deal with your discomfort, from supplements to exercise to quitting smoking. RLS seems to have something to do with mineral imbalances, so some suggestions are to take some magnesium, calcium, and potassium supplements to calm your leg nerves. Lengthening your legs, pointing your toes, and massaging your calves is also recommended, but that did absolutely nothing in my case, it only seemed to prolong my torture. Also worth noting is that smokers have a higher instance of RLS, and cutting down on caffeine and alcohol before bed is apparently helpful. I'm guessing my nightly cup of coffee is probably not helping my situation. There is also mention of avoiding cold and sinus medications, but I don't know how helpful that advice is when you're suffering from a cold or sinus allergy. Pick your battles, I guess. One last thing to mention before I get to my "cure". A warning from rlcure.com. If you have RLS, or if you are interested in reading more about it, I highly recommend you read this, it's an interesting look at what RLS may be trying to tell us. Maybe my legs are trying to tell me that I'm going to die early, but I think my cigarette pack has dibs on letting me know which terrible disease is the most likely to kill me. Here is what you have all been waiting for, and what some of you skipped my whole post to see: how did I stop my RLS? A bar of Ivory soap. Yes, you read that correctly, a bar of Ivory soap. No, wait, don't go! Just hear me out. I'm not crazy (well, I might be, the test results aren't back yet), I read something crazy on pullingcurls.com about the author's mother using Ivory soap to cure her RLS. One night a few weeks ago it was particularly bad. I was exhausted, I had a migraine, and of course my legs decided to get in on the action. After an hour I was desperate for relief. I asked my husband to go into the laundry room and get me a bar of Ivory soap. He gave it to me and I unwrapped it, tossed it between my calves, and hoped for the best. Hubby gave me some strange looks, but he's pretty used to my weirdness by now. It worked. Hallelujah, the legs stopped the party and I fell asleep almost instantly. I used it for a week straight with no re-occurrences. The next week I did not sleep with a bar of soap. My legs betrayed me. So now I sleep with a bar of Ivory every night whether I think I'll need to or not. Is it psychological? Does the urge to move my legs stop when I have soap in my bed because I think it's helping me? I don't know, maybe. Truly, I don't really care why it works. All I know is that I can sleep through the night without taking medication, getting acupuncture, or having to give up my nightly cup of coffee, and it cost me less than a dollar. Thanks for stopping by, I hope you left just a smidge more informed.
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