I don't really know where to begin. I am a huge fan of the Dark Tower series. I, among legions of DT fans, have been clamoring for a Roland & Co. movie for what seems like ages. This movie feels like an insult. Once the announcement was made that a movie was going to (finally) make it to the big screen, I scoured the internet for months, reading everything I could get my greedy little eyeballs on just to get a tidbit of information. I felt disappointment (and anger, at times), right from the beginning, and I wasn't even sure I was actually going to watch the movie. I was torn, fighting my internal struggle; should I go and see the movie to satisfy my curiosity? Or even wait until it comes out On Demand, which probably would have been a better option, because Hubby and I were both having a really, really difficult time not yelling out in frustration throughout most of the movie. Or, the third option of not seeing it at all, ever, but my curiosity wouldn't let me adhere to option three, I think. I decided to go and see it in the theater last night. I went in trying really, really hard to keep an open mind, about the casting (you can read my feelings about the casting here), about the storyline (or lack of), about the damage that was being done to one of my most treasured stories. It was difficult, but I tried. After about 5 minutes (or was it 5 seconds?), I knew that was going to be impossible, I was already shaking my head in confusion and throwing my hands up in frustration. So I tried plan B... throw the book out of my mind and just try to watch it like a movie, one that is telling a story I don't know, like any other I watch for the first time. So, here is my review of The Dark Tower: Synopsis: My Synopsis? I really suck at them, which is why I gave you the one I googled. But I'll try. A gunslinger reluctantly teams up with a young boy to fight some evil guy who is trying to kidnap said young boy to bring down a tower with mind laser beams. My Review: You may have noticed (if you didn't know already) from my synopsis that I was not too impressed. To say that this movie is based on Stephen King's Dark Tower series is like saying the Family Guy TV Show is based on the Bible. That is to say that there are some characters who have the same name and perhaps a passing resemblance to someone in the book. With that out of the way, I can say that if you haven't read the books, you may be a little confused. We don't get a whole lot of depth to the characters, therefore, we don't really care about them. We don't really understand just how important the tower is, and so we don't care if they're bringing it down. We really only get a sense of revenge from the gunslinger, so why should we care if he's successful in bringing down Walter? The movie is plodding, uninteresting and made me throw my hands up in frustration more than once. The acting and plotline is mediocre and this movie is a mess. IMDb rating - I think this may be generous. Rotten Tomatoes score - I agree with the critics. The animosity I feel towards this movie will most likely boil over and I'll HAVE to write a post on how much the movie differs from the books, but how much, really can you fit into an hour and a half? For now, I'll have to be satisfied with the fact that the ending provided very little reason to make another one. I give this movie 1 out of 5 movie passes.
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